When I went to Nobel Hospital I found Nobel already waiting there with a garland with bunch of people behind him, all in business suits. Before I got down Nobel opened the Car door and invited me. A beautiful lady came with the garland and before I prevented the garland was around my neck. "Mr. Khaderao, it is a great feeling to have you here. Please come" We all went inside. It was stunning experience for me when I looked inside. It was a huge hall fully decorated and equipped with five receptionists sitting in the middle of the floor. All of them are with Neat and Clean Hospital Uniform. Even all other Staff moving on the Hall were full of White and Clean clothes. The Hall is full of room freshener flavor. They all greeted me and I folded my hands and told Namaste to them before they offered a hand shake (I am also a mad guy). "Dear Khaderao, we have five receptionists to ensure we serve the best. Their job is to ensure who ever enters this building are authorized" First receptionist Swathi asked me show my bag. She almost tore the bag to check all parts and sides of the bag and ensured there are no dangerous items like Pen Drives, Data Cards, CDs etc. She returned the (Torn) bag as it is and I needed to close all portions and put all my belongings in to my bag. Thinking that my job is done, I wanted to move forward. But Rosy (next receptionist) stopped me. "Sir I want to check your laptop" I replied "I didnt bring laptop" "But I need to check sir. My apologies""Just now Swathi checked my bag and there was no laptop inside?..." "Sorry Sir, she checked if there are CDs, Pen Drives etc. I need to check if there is Laptop"
"But she didnt find any laptop in my bag. You also must have seen?" "As per process I need to do my checks sir, I am sorry without this checking we do not permit any one to go inside our Office' Nobel interfered and said to me "Dear Khaderao, I know this is slight inconvenience, but we have robust process to ensure there are no risks. Please cooperate" I was quite impressed and my Bag was again torn to the max limit. There are 3 more to check my bag. Probably one will check if I have bombs and Arms and another whether I have a camera and the last one will check if the Bag is still useful!!! Fortunately the other checks were completed very fast in an hour. When I thought of moving, the last receptionist told me, "Sir outside items are not allowed. I request you to please leave the bag here in reception" I left the Bag after filling 5 page form with all details of what is in the Bag. At last I could go inside the office at about 12.30 PM. It was lunch time.
Nobel asked me if I want to have lunch. I asked what the best nearby Hotel. I wanted to go but quickly changed my mind after Nobel explained that I need to leave with my bag and enter again through the same process that I followed in the morning.
"Let us have something here itself. I may not be able to enter again in next 3,4 hours" "Lunch inside office is not allowed Khaderao" Nobel said.
Good. One day fasting is better. I am already fat to the extent that I reached irreversible state and skipping one meal may help. I made my mind to skip lunch to save that many hours of checks at reception again. Nobel took me to the Research and Development Section. "Dear Khaderao, this is the Research and Development group. The people whoever work here undergo complete checks including mental check to make sure they dont go mad for next 1 year."
"Why So?" I asked with curiosity as well as fear about what will happen to me.
"This is because our systematic approach is not digestible to many immatured people and hence we decided to have this kind of treatment"
We moved forward. "We dont supply papers so that people cant print any documents. We dont provide the phone to ensure our team dont call outsiders"
I was surprised and asked "What if they need any print out? Why cant they call outside?"
"Our Intellectual Property cant go out. If anything is printed you may see the content of printout and reveal to outsiders. Similarly the guys may call outside and reveal the confidential matter to outsiders"
"What if they need to speak to customers, Experts or others for any clarifications?" Nobel smiled proudly.
"We have a process for that as well. The team needs to fill this 7 page form and submit a business case for a phone call or a Printout or both. It will go through a robust approval process and we strictly follow the SLA of 10 days. The team are informed to followup only after these 10 days if they do not get any response."
"Great!!! "
And the approved conversation is monitored by a team of 10 people and it is recorded as well to make sure any of the Monitoring team doesnt join hands with the R&D teams and sabotage"
"What if the recording guy also cheats you?"
"It cant happen because the recording is done in such a way that no one can access the recorded item. And no one can know even the place where the recorded version is stored" Nobel replied with lot of Pride.
"Than how you will anyone access that version if the conversation needs to be verified?"
I didnt ask the question as I was feeling hungry and not having much energy to hear.
Nobel took me to another room. Before I asked, he explained "This is brainwashing room"
"<!*&$#%?????"
"People who are released from the Services are brainwashed completely to forget all they did here !"
"<!*&$#%????? <!*&$#%????? <!*&$#%????? <!*&$#%?????............"
"This is because we prevent CDs Pen Drives, Internet Access, Telephone access and what not. But the guy can still remember the content of the Intellectual properties developed here" Nobel clarified.
This is very innovative!!! And really true. The intelligent guys can still store all the information in their brain. It must be thoroughly washed to protect the IP.
Nobel took me to another room. I saw 100 screens on the big wall with 20 people watching the screens without moving the neck. "These screens show what is happening in the Hospital. We prevented Printouts, phone calls and data storage but people talk between themselves and information may pass between them"
Oh thats valid point !!!!!
"If we find any one talking to other in Development room, conference room or even Toilet, immediately an incident is logged. A 15 member team will review and interrogate the people on what they talked. Depending on the outcome, beyond SLA of 30days (Beyond or within ???) the Employee will be punished or even laid off."
I opened my mouth and hearing.
"We may go with a simple punishment of plastering the mouths of members involved in the discussion for a duration of 30 days. Or we may go to the extreme of terminating them with a fine of 10 Lakh rupees" Nobel elaborated with glowing face. "Currently we have a debate of whether the duration is 30 calendar days or 30 working days. As a matter of safety we are following 30 working days. A 3 member committee is reviewing the Procedure document to figure out what is the correct duration. they will complete the investigation beyond SLA of 2 months (- calendar days or ???)"
Very systematic!
I saw a few more cameras in the same room. Nobel understood my curiosity and explained before I asked. "These cameras are to monitor these 20 guys. They cant move their neck towards anything other than screens"
Oh!
"Yes. We also do a mock drill when we deliberately make huge noise of 100 decibels and if any one turns their neck to understand that noise they will be sacked immediately. This is to ensure they are all disciplined and focused towards their work. Even 1% of deviation is taken very serious in my organization"
I appreciate. He took me to the next room. There are around 50 people sitting and working with lot of concentration. They didnt even look at us. "They are all Inspection teams" "They keep writing new processes to confuse the teams to the best extent."
~^*%$^#@(*&@^@@????
"This is because even our processes are IP (Intellectual Property) Protected. No one should share these processes to outside. More the confusion much is the protection of our IP"
Thats very true.
Nobel took me to Robot section where there are 100+ Robots which can do all types of Surgeries including Heart transplantation. He clarified that even these Robots will be brainwashed to make sure their thinking algorithm keeps changing and cleaned frequently.
In other wing, all testing equipment are placed. "Anyone even if he is dying in front of me before I treat them, they need to undergo the tests!" Nobel proudly told.
"Without the test reports, even a dead body will not be touched by our doctors. We go by everything that is documented. We don't go by anything by apparent symptoms or verbal reports. This is the reason why our auditors don't find even one flaw in our Processes"
Fantastic.
Nobel took me to another hall which is big to an extent that I can meet the guy on the other end only the next day. There are hundreds of beds with clean bed sheets. Every Bed has a big shelf, lockers, refrigerator and partitions. Beside each bed, there are equipment to support blood tests, Saline loading and even small surgeries etc. What a great Infrastructure! There is a TV infront of the Bed. There is also a room consisting of team which supports the Cable TVs. All that Staff are blind folded. Whenever a repair is required they are allowed to see, fix the issue and go back to blind folds.
Yes I know why before Nobel clarified. Intellectual property and Process orientation.
Nobel took me to Ambulance management. There are 100 ambulances. Each Ambulance is like a house. Everything is there in the Ambulance Once again TV is also included. Staff were watching "Munnabhai MBBS" when we went there.
When Nobel went they stopped the TV immediately. Nobel was furious and told them that the TV is for Customers only. He logged incidents against each of the staff.
We went to many other sections and everywhere it is clean, and perfect.When I finished the visit, I was checked thoroughly again in the most impressive manner. I collected my bag from the 5th receptionist after filling another form and started to move.
But the fourth Receptionist stopped me "Sir, I need to check your bag before leaving"
"Just now I got it from your colleague what will be there other than what you already checked in the morning?"
"Sir that is something I need to confirm. As per process we need to check the visitor before he leaves. We dont go assumptions."
After one full day duration in the the office, I understood a few things and without too many questions I got my bag checked by other 4 as well.My bag is now in very bad shape but I am still happy to see that nothing offensive was found even after a thorough checking.
"Dear Khaderao, you went through the entire show. How is your feeling?" Nobel asked me on my way back.
"Dear Nobel, I am quite impressed by your infrastructure. All latest equipment, robust practices and the most disciplined team. With this kind of system, I am sure you can do a great job and protect the interest of the IP"
Nobel was very proud.
Suddenly I realized one thing before getting into the car.
"By the way, I didnt see any patients. How many are there?"
So far Nobel was answering all queries confidently but for the first time the smile disappeared from his face.I didnt wait for the answer and got in to the Car.
Disclaimer: I have been writing the blogs in the style of story telling based on real incidents but with some fiction added to emphasize the message. Hence I request not to make any conclusions to derive facts based on the posts in these articles
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