As a people manager I faced many issues in dealing with my team members. I was known as (as stated by one of my peers), some one who passionately supported the team. But more than this, I was also known as an aggressive manager. Either because of my concern about the career progress of each and every team member or because I was not happy with the kind of progress that the team members are unable to match to my expectations, I used to push the team a lot to deliver without providing much to relax. While there used to be a few team lunches and a couple of cricket matches more the team remembered were about the frank feedback I provided to them.
This is where I wanted to mention about the beautiful observation by my leader Sriram Papani. He very rightly pointed out that nowadays the youth are unable to digest the constructive feedback as they are not used to it.
The root cause is because they were regularly pampered by their parents, aunts, uncles and great parents at any age. If they paint a picture that is the greatest in the world. If the girl sings she is just another Latha Mangeshkar. If the boy writes a poem he is at par with Ravindra Nath Tagore. There was no feedback on how they can improve. There was also no mentoring from the parents on the fact that there can always be someone better than their kids. While this whole explanation looks quite simple, it was not acknowledged till Sriram stated in his own perfect style.
And when the kids go to school there is same scenario. In the name of keeping away sensitive matters the schools give only grades and no marks. And the teachers design the rewarding in such a way that every student gets some or other appreciation or distinction. One may get best singer award and the other the best painter. In all the cases no constructive feedback. I need to make a disclaimer that I dont say all schools are this way. But the outcome is same. My kid comes and shows an article and says she received a great pat on the back by her pricipal. The article looks ordinary even at my kid's standard and I felt like giving some feedback on how it can be made better. My kid didnt like. Probably I am too cynic as some people say. But even at smaller scale the kids needs to know that there is scope for improvement everywhere. right? and there can be some people who may perform better than themseleves. Right? How long can we cheat them?
Once I heard the theory of Sriram, I started observing what is happening in my surroundings. What he said was no exaggeration at all. And I am no exception. My daughter comes to me and shows something she made for a project work and she said the teacher did not like it. Immediately I heard my wife criticizing the teacher. My wife felt the teacher must have encouraged my daughter. I discussed with my daughter and understood there was some good feedback from the teacher and it was surprise because even in schools I am seeing Star ratings to my kids every day. The teachers were saying that the kids are getting disappointed if star is not given. In such environment I felt this is a different teacher who wanted to give some feedback but for obvious reasons my daughter didnt like her.
A sensitive issue but this atleast needs some acknowledgement by parents and others. And one couple cant resolve this,without the support of others. If we do not teach the realities how can these generations survive. The kids need to know that there will be some areas where compromization is needed while the general attitude need not be accepting everything. The kids need to compete but in right spirit and must learn appreciating the other's success as well.
Probably this is the reason why I see some of my team members unable to digest the feedback. I took the help of my HR and explained the need for HR to take it as a serious trend and must manage in the induction. Let me see how it works.
This is where I wanted to mention about the beautiful observation by my leader Sriram Papani. He very rightly pointed out that nowadays the youth are unable to digest the constructive feedback as they are not used to it.
The root cause is because they were regularly pampered by their parents, aunts, uncles and great parents at any age. If they paint a picture that is the greatest in the world. If the girl sings she is just another Latha Mangeshkar. If the boy writes a poem he is at par with Ravindra Nath Tagore. There was no feedback on how they can improve. There was also no mentoring from the parents on the fact that there can always be someone better than their kids. While this whole explanation looks quite simple, it was not acknowledged till Sriram stated in his own perfect style.
And when the kids go to school there is same scenario. In the name of keeping away sensitive matters the schools give only grades and no marks. And the teachers design the rewarding in such a way that every student gets some or other appreciation or distinction. One may get best singer award and the other the best painter. In all the cases no constructive feedback. I need to make a disclaimer that I dont say all schools are this way. But the outcome is same. My kid comes and shows an article and says she received a great pat on the back by her pricipal. The article looks ordinary even at my kid's standard and I felt like giving some feedback on how it can be made better. My kid didnt like. Probably I am too cynic as some people say. But even at smaller scale the kids needs to know that there is scope for improvement everywhere. right? and there can be some people who may perform better than themseleves. Right? How long can we cheat them?
Once I heard the theory of Sriram, I started observing what is happening in my surroundings. What he said was no exaggeration at all. And I am no exception. My daughter comes to me and shows something she made for a project work and she said the teacher did not like it. Immediately I heard my wife criticizing the teacher. My wife felt the teacher must have encouraged my daughter. I discussed with my daughter and understood there was some good feedback from the teacher and it was surprise because even in schools I am seeing Star ratings to my kids every day. The teachers were saying that the kids are getting disappointed if star is not given. In such environment I felt this is a different teacher who wanted to give some feedback but for obvious reasons my daughter didnt like her.
A sensitive issue but this atleast needs some acknowledgement by parents and others. And one couple cant resolve this,without the support of others. If we do not teach the realities how can these generations survive. The kids need to know that there will be some areas where compromization is needed while the general attitude need not be accepting everything. The kids need to compete but in right spirit and must learn appreciating the other's success as well.
Probably this is the reason why I see some of my team members unable to digest the feedback. I took the help of my HR and explained the need for HR to take it as a serious trend and must manage in the induction. Let me see how it works.
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